Reflection

Gratitude, thankfulness, or gratefulness is a feeling of appreciation (or similar positive response) by a recipient of another’s kindness. This kindness can be gifts, help, favors, or another form of generosity to another person. In a world like ours which is immensely fast paced, where success is based off of material possessions, fame and affluence, it is easy to lose track of what is important to us and become ungrateful. We might even go as far as discrediting people’s success to make ourselves feel better for our lack. Taking a moment to assess what we have and appreciating it will bring a great turnaround in our lives. Although, it is important to note that being grateful does not guarantee that people will treat us any better, it is still important to practice gratitude as it has many advantages, the first being our personal development and broadening of our minds. Gratitude is more than just good manners. It’s a conscious practice of focusing on the positive aspects of our lives. It’s about acknowledging the good things, big or small, and recognizing the value they bring. The Personal Power of Gratitude  We have established that people might not treat you any better or any different if you are grateful but here are some reasons why showing gratitude can help. People crave appreciation:  Dale Carnegie in his book “How to Make Friends and Influence People” emphasizes that one of the deepest human desires is to feel appreciated. By expressing sincere gratitude, you make others feel valued and respected. This strengthens bonds and fosters positive interactions. Appreciation opens doors:  Starting a conversation with genuine appreciation sets a friendly tone and makes the other person more receptive. It shows you’re interested in them, not just what you can get from them. Praise motivates: Pointing out someone’s strengths and accomplishments encourages them and fosters a sense of accomplishment. This positive reinforcement can lead to better performance and continued growth. Ways to Incorporate Gratitude into Your Life Here are some means of incorporating gratitude: Acknowledge achievements:  When someone does a good job, take a moment to express your appreciation. This could be a colleague who delivered a great presentation or a child who excelled in school. Thank people for their contributions:  Let people know you value their efforts, big or small. This could be a simple “thank you” for a helping hand or a more elaborate expression of gratitude for a significant contribution. Compliment genuinely:  Don’t dole out empty praise. Focus on specific things you admire and appreciate about the person. This sincerity will have a more lasting impact. By incorporating these ideas, you can leverage the power of gratitude to build stronger relationships and influence others in a positive way. How to Practice Gratitude: Simple and Effective Tips Now that  we have discussed what to do, here is how to practice gratitude. These are practical examples that have proven useful  Keep A Gratitude Journal: It doesn’t have to be something fancy, it could be a notebook or an app on your phone, cultivate an habit of putting down what you are grateful for. This can be done in the morning or at night before you shut down for the day.  Keep A Gratitude Jar: Oftentimes, there are moments we are grateful for that we end up forgetting. You can get a jar, a custom one or the washed jar of Nutella sitting in your kitchen, sticky notes and a pen. For every thing you are grateful for, write it down and put it in the jar. At the end of three months or a year, open the jar and read the notes. You will find that there is so much to be grateful for. Live in the moment:  By living in the moment, you learn to appreciate the little gifts life bestows.  Take Gratitude Walks:  A moment to connect with nature, taking in the sun and breeze will often times remind you to be grateful for life. The art of gratitude is a powerful tool that can transform your life. By focusing on the good, you’ll find yourself feeling happier, more content, and more resilient in the face of challenges. So why not give it a try? You might be surprised at the positive impact it has on your overall well-being. As author Melody Beattie said,

It’s no secret that the people we surround ourselves with shape who we become. Studies show that social circles can even influence our health and happiness. Just like a chameleon adapts to its environment, we absorb the energy and habits of those closest to us. That’s why building strong, meaningful relationships is crucial for personal growth and fulfillment. However, the constant buzz of the modern world can make forging deep connections seem like a luxury. Social media, while offering a plethora of connections, often fosters shallow interactions. But fear not! Building meaningful relationships is a skill that can be learned and nurtured.  Steps to Begin Building Meaningful Relationships Here are some pointers to start your journey of building meaningful relationships. Put down the phone:  Although there are many opportunities to meet new persons of diverse cultures in social media or apps and platforms that connect individuals, there are relationships waiting to be nurtured around you. The lady you see every day on your run to the grocery store, the guy you ride the bus with every Thursday evening, your next door neighbor and so on. Be your authentic self: There is no better way to find people that connect with you than to be your authentic self. Be goofy, be humorous, be old school. The best version of you is your real self.  Embrace differences: Not everyone will share your interests or personality. Celebrate the unique qualities that each person brings to the relationship. After all, it is the different qualities of individuals that bring sparks to a relationship. Forgive and move on: Everyone makes mistakes. Learn to forgive others and let go of resentment for the sake of the relationship. Although, it is important to understand and create boundaries, know when to draw a line.  Make room for growth: Relationships should be a source of growth and inspiration. Encourage each other to pursue your passions and celebrate each other’s successes. Have Fun: It is important to let yourself enjoy the moment and beauty of your growing relationship. Essential Tips from Dale Carnegie’s ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’ Here are some key pointers to go about it using Dale Carnegie’s book “How to Make friends and Influence People”. Be a Positive Influence: Everyone faces challenges. Be a source of encouragement and optimism for those around you. Celebrate their successes and offer a supportive hand during tough times. This aligns with the point of being supportive and reliable. Let the Other Person Feel Important – and Do It Sincerely: Make people feel valued and appreciated.  Carnegie emphasizes “The deepest craving of human nature is the desire to be important.”  Offer sincere compliments, acknowledge their contributions, and show them that their presence matters. This aligns with the importance of showing appreciation. Arouse in the Other Person an Eager Want:  Instead of focusing solely on your needs, find ways to genuinely support others’ goals and aspirations. Show interest in their dreams and offer encouragement. This taps into the idea of being supportive and reliable discussed earlier. Be a Good Conversationalist: People enjoy talking about themselves. Encourage conversation by asking open-ended questions and being an attentive listener. Carnegie emphasizes becoming a good listener  “encourage the other person to talk about himself or herself and his or her interests.”  This aligns with our previous point on being a good listener. A Smile Goes a Long Way: Carnegie highlights the power of a sincere smile.  A smile is a universal sign of warmth and friendliness. It puts others at ease and fosters a more positive connection. Remember, building and keeping meaningful relationships is an ongoing process. There will be bumps along the road, but by nurturing these connections with care and effort, you’ll cultivate a rich and rewarding network of support and love in your life. Put down your phone, make eye contact, and start building relationships that enrich your life and the lives of those around you.  Dale Carnegie, author of How to Win Friends and Influence People, captured the essence of connection when he said,

More often than not, we look at ourselves and conclude that there is nothing to us, that we are nothing but just another strand of DNA walking the face of the earth but I beg to differ.  Every person, however ordinary , has something unique to them. Yes, there could be 10 people with this quality; already however, you are still unique. Beyond being a doctor or a lawyer or an engineer, there is something much more for every individual. Maybe it’s that dream you had when you were 4, that dream that was told off “it’ll never work” they said, maybe that is what makes you unique. What is Purpose? Purpose is the reason why you get up in the morning, the driving force behind your goals and aspirations. It’s the intersection of your values, passions, and strengths, guiding you towards a life of significance and impact. Purpose can be understood in a few different ways: 1. The Reason for Something: In this sense, purpose refers to the why behind something’s existence. For example, the purpose of a chair is to provide a place to sit. On a larger scale, it can refer to the reason an event happens or why something was created. 2. A Goal or Aim: Purpose can also describe a desired outcome or objective. You might set a purpose for yourself, like “My purpose today is to finish this project.” Organizations and businesses also have purposes, like “The purpose of this company is to provide clean energy solutions.” 3. A Feeling of Meaning or Fulfillment: Perhaps the most personal understanding of purpose is the feeling of having a reason for being, a sense that your life matters. This purpose can come from various sources, like your relationships, career, creative pursuits, or helping others. Maybe you haven’t discovered that spark yet, your purpose.  That’s okay, it could be the way you make people laugh until their sides ache, the quiet strength you bring to a difficult situation, or the analytical mind that untangles complex problems.  Don’t listen to voices that tell you your dreams are unrealistic.  That childhood passion you held onto?  It might be the very flame that ignites your purpose. Ready to find your spark? Here’s how. Break the stereotype:  The world needs your unique perspective.  Forget about stereotypes and societal expectations.  Embrace the unconventional path that lights you up. For example; Are you a lawyer who has a thing for coding? Don’t let the expectations for lawyers stop you from pursuing your dream. Maybe you’re a lecturer who loves photography, go ahead and pursue that dream, break the stereotype and harness your purpose. Unveil Your Strengths:  What makes you tick?  What are you naturally good at?  What activities leave you feeling energized and fulfilled?  Journaling or taking a personality assessment can be a roadmap to self-discovery. For example; Do you often find yourself settling disputes between your friends or acting as a mediator? You can build on this strength and go into counseling. Define passion:  What truly sets your soul on fire?  When you discover what you love, it becomes the fuel that propels you towards your purpose.  Align your daily habits and goals with these passions and you’ll find that your purpose is not far behind. For example; You’re tagged a fashionista, you can put two pieces of clothing together to make a stunning masterpiece, maybe your purpose lies in the fashion industry.  Become a Lifelong Learner:  The world is a treasure trove of knowledge waiting to be explored.  Take a class, devour a book, or try a skill that piques your curiosity.  Expanding your horizons can spark new ideas and illuminate your purpose further. For example; Instead of just settling for the bare minimum, you can delve deeper into things that interest you by taking a course or two, either physical or virtual. Build your community: In the quest to finding your purpose, surrounding yourself with like minded persons will give you the drive you need . It has been established that by surrounding yourself with like minded persons, you help yourself grow. Hence if you have interests in business, surrounding yourself with entrepreneurs and business minded persons, you can find and fulfill your purpose. Finding your purpose is an incredible adventure, not a race to a finish line.  Embrace the journey of self-discovery, and remember, your unique spark has the power to light up the world. As Ladye D. Lindsey said in her book, The Purpose Journey: