There’s a place many of us know well but rarely talk about. It isn’t the starting line, and it isn’t the finish line. It’s the middle ground—the space where you’re no longer who you used to be, but not yet who you want to become.
It can feel both exciting and unsettling. You’ve outgrown old patterns, yet the new ones haven’t fully taken root. You’ve taken steps toward your dreams, but the outcome still feels far away. This place is what I like to call the bridge.
And while it may feel like an in-between state, it’s actually one of the most important parts of our growth.
Why the Bridge Feels Uncomfortable
The bridge is a place of tension. On one side is your comfort zone—the habits, roles, and identities that feel familiar. On the other side is your desired self—the goals, values, and life you’re striving for.
Crossing this bridge means carrying both: the old self that resists change, and the new self that demands it. That tug-of-war can feel heavy.
Sometimes the discomfort shows up as:
- Impatience: “Why am I not there yet?”
- Self-doubt: “Am I even capable of changing?”
- Restlessness: “I’ve done so much already, but nothing’s happening.”
- Fear: “What if I never make it across?”
This in-between season feels strange because it lacks certainty. You can’t fully identify with your old self anymore, but you can’t embody the new one just yet. It’s like standing on shifting ground.
But here’s the truth: the bridge is not a mistake. It’s where transformation quietly takes place.
Growth Doesn’t Happen Overnight
We often romanticize transformation—as if change happens in one bold decision, one big moment. But real growth unfolds slowly, like a seed breaking through soil.
The bridge is where you learn, adapt, and stretch into new ways of being. It’s where small habits take root. It’s where you practice becoming.
Think about a caterpillar inside a cocoon. From the outside, it looks like nothing’s happening. But inside, everything is changing. The bridge is your cocoon—messy, uncertain, but absolutely necessary.
The Tension Between Two Selves
When you’re on the bridge, you live between two identities:
- The old self, who wants to stay safe, stick to routines, and avoid discomfort.
- The emerging self, who pushes you to risk, grow, and embrace the unknown.
This tension is not weakness. It’s the sign that you’re evolving.
Imagine holding both ends of a rope—you feel the pull from each side. That resistance is uncomfortable, but it also builds strength. Without tension, you wouldn’t move forward.
How to Walk the Bridge with Grace
Crossing the bridge doesn’t mean rushing through it. It means learning how to stay present while you’re in motion. Here are some practices that can help:
1. Acknowledge Where You Are
Don’t dismiss the in-between season as wasted time. Name it. Accept it. Say: I am on the bridge, and this is part of my journey. That simple shift removes the pressure to “arrive” and allows you to honor the process.
2. Embrace Small, Invisible Progress
On the bridge, progress doesn’t always look like giant leaps. It’s in the quiet shifts: choosing patience when you used to snap, showing up for yourself when you used to quit, or saying no to what no longer serves you. These small moments weave into real transformation.
3. Release the Timeline
We love deadlines. They make us feel in control. But personal growth rarely follows a neat schedule. Instead of asking, When will I get there?, ask, Who am I becoming along the way? The bridge takes as long as it needs to. Trust that.
4. Stay Connected to Your “Why”
When the bridge feels long, your “why” becomes your anchor. Why did you begin this journey? What truth are you moving toward? Revisit it often—it keeps you steady when doubts arise.
5. Allow Yourself to Be Both
You don’t need to reject your old self completely to step into the new one. Every version of you served a purpose. Instead of shame, bring gratitude. You are allowed to be a work in progress and a masterpiece at the same time.
The Beauty of the In-Between
The bridge is not glamorous. It doesn’t come with applause or recognition. No one cheers for the days you quietly choose discipline over distraction, or reflection over avoidance.
But this in-between space has its own beauty. It’s where resilience is built. It’s where your character is tested. It’s where you learn patience, humility, and trust.
One day, you’ll look back and realize the bridge was not just the path—it was the teacher.
Becoming the Person You Want to Be
The truth is, you never really “arrive.” Even when you step off one bridge, another will eventually appear. That’s the cycle of growth. Each crossing shapes you a little more.
So if you find yourself restless, doubting, or impatient—pause. Breathe. Remind yourself:
The bridge between who you are and who you want to be isn’t just a passage. It’s the place where the becoming happens. And that becoming is worth every step.
